6 Reasons Why Every Mum Needs to Connect with Other Mothers
Becoming a mum can leave so many women feeling like they live in a space of uncertainty, stress, and isolation.
Once upon a time (pre-children), it was easy to make a decision, grab your things and head out to see your friends. Now that you have a little one or little ones, that is not the case.
Becoming a mum does not mean that you have to give up on life’s little luxuries like days out, a chit-chat with friends and some self-care; in fact, these become vital to your emotional wellbeing and capacity to be the best parent that you can be.
When you become a mom, those little moments turn into foundations for your happiness and health. But like most other mothers, we struggle because we feel selfish if we make a decision that considers ourselves at the forefront. Ladies, being selfish is the most selfless thing that you can do as a mum. If your jug isn’t full, you won’t have enough juice to hand out to your children and family.
So here are six reasons to get yourself out and connect with your tribe.
Connection with other mothers is vital to our self-esteem and ability to carry thoughts of self-love.
We have a primal need to feel a connection with other people like ourselves—in this case, other mothers.
You need to belong to a tribe feel happy and satisfied. You also need to be around like-minded people who have your back to be able to develop or continue positive self-esteem.
Humans are not biologically created to sit alone. Being a part of a group is instinctual; it is a deep-seated survival need that allows us to thrive.
Our tribe changes when we become pregnant and have babies. Our childless friends sometimes no longer understand those pressures, and we resent the freedom that they have.
Finding your tribe, extending it or rebuilding it is a vital element for you to be happy and well.
2. We learn from other mothers.
Mumming is hard; we aren’t born with all the answers and know-how. Our children can be challenging, and life throws us challenges. Stop expecting that you have to do it all on your own.
Connecting with other mothers can help you find new ways of doing things that work for you and your little ones.
I guarantee there are other mothers out there who have experienced what you are feeling right now, and they will be able to share the strategies that they used to get through.
3. Scaffold and support.
Sometimes being a parent isn’t the most enjoyable thing in the world. There, I have said it. I have never regretted having my children, but I have regretted being a mum, and I know I am not the only one.
On top of being a mum, life happens to us at the same time, and it is okay to feel down and out about it at times.
A mum tribe offers the support and scaffolding that you need to lift yourself back up and keep going!
4. Give yourself a break and refill your engine.
Time out! Sometimes you need TIME OUT!
Society has painted an unrealistic picture of how mums are meant to look, behave and feel.
Have you ever looked at a detergent commercial from the 1950s and read expectations that mums back then should live by? Impractical and impossible!
Last night, when I was covered in spew and sitting naked in a lukewarm shower with a teething baby, I didn’t feel like that mum at all. But this is the reality of being a mum. I was exhausted.
You are not just a mum; you are also human. You need time to recharge. It is okay to spend some guiltless time away from your children with friends.
It is impossible to relax and refill your cup in the confines of your home, always surrounded by children.
5. Possess and pass.
Whatever you possess, you will pass on to your children: the good, the bad and the ugly.
Think of it this way: if you struggle with body confidence, what significant adult in your life did you borrow this from?
All parents want their children to live their best life, but for that to happen, we have to show them how to achieve it.
You wouldn’t want your children to be stuck at home feeling lost and isolated, but if this is what you are doing, they will learn the same behaviours.
They need to see you going out and having a life beyond your own house. They will then grow up knowing that they are worthy of connection with other people and allowing time to themselves merely because their mum does it with other mothers!
6. Reclaim YOU.
We get so caught up with mumming life that sometimes we forget who the heck we are or once were.
As a mindset strategist and brain trainer, I hear all too often from other mothers all over the world that they no longer identify as anything other than mum.
Being a mum is something to be proud of, but it isn’t the only thing that defines who you are.
Reclaim your identity and your self by swapping your casserole-covered cami with a little get-up that makes you feel good but, most importantly, makes you feel like you again.
You are still that hip, sexy, amazing, kick-arse self that you were before the parenting line began. So go and remind yourself by getting out and about and spending a day with other mothers. You are all amazing!
Chaotically organised, energetically tired, beautifully dishevelled, erratically in control mother of 5 children and a rescue dog. Abbey is the Chief Editor for https//Readysetmom.net, a teacher, visible learning coach, rehabilitation business owner and NLP practitioner; but her claim to fame is having the best taste in music and the hippest Mom dance moves you have ever seen.